The Sunday Conversation | with Pastor Luke Okoro | 30. 01. 2022
Genesis 37-50.
“A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” Proverbs 18:24.
Before we deal with two other headline matters and also close discussion on Relationship/Network, let me note that there’s nothing wrong in networking with friends as we journey on, just as we are all brethren.
As Solomon observed, there are indeed Christian brethren who are far more closer and better for us in course of this journey than our biological brethren. We need not elaborate on this point because its reality occurs every passing day. We have seen brethren who were thrown out of their family houses and denied all legitimate rights and privileges due unto them as members of their biological families, because they belonged to a different faith.
However, for any believer in a journey to secure a solid affirmation by others, they must show themselves friendly.
Yes, friendship deals with trust, honesty, integrity and unfeigned loyalty, sometimes blind to any wrong done to you by that friend.
Friendship means love, gifting and patience acceptance of each other’s failures and shared prosperity. When therefore Solomon deposed that a man who wishes to be a friend must first show himself friendly, he understood what he was saying. As a Christian on a journey, do not always seek to grab everything without letting out. Don’t be an exploiter of friendship as many do today.
Permit me also to add that in our relationships, we must appreciate the fact that successful personal accomplishments do not, in anyway, justify faulty bases upon which such successes were/are accomplished. We say so because several people in our time have tended to ascribe success or prosperity in whatever form to mean heaven’s approval of the actions that orchestrated such accomplishments. This is untrue and patently deceptive.
In Genesis 38, the story is told about Judah who committed incestuous adultery with a woman thought to be an harlot. But unfortunately, the woman involved happened to be Tamar, who was initially married to Er. Er is the first born of Judah but was killed by God because he was wicked. The Bible didn’t say more about him. Onan – Judah’s second son, took over Tamar to raise seed for Er his elder brother as it was customary in old Israel. Sadly too, Onan was also killed by God because he committed Onanism. Finally, Judah sent Tamar away to her father’s family and didn’t allow the third son to marry her still going by the tradition.
The Bible completed the story by saying that Tamar disguised herself as a harlot, and happenstance brought her on Judah’s path, who slept with her and eventually raised seed for Er his first born son. Even though a posterity came from this incest, Judah went down in history as an immoral father in law who slept with her daughter in law. And that generation had to be wiped away before Jesus could enter the Davidic dynasty for the redemption of humankind.
Today, many believers are deceived to think that disobedient and false gain is divine approval. This is reckless and comes from the pit of hell to believe and propagate.
Our sisters on the journey – whether as mothers-in-law or sisters-in-law must also learn to live peaceably with each other. As long as you are a child of God treading on this Journey, necessity is laid upon you to live peaceably with your mother-in-law or daughter-in-law as it were.
The case of Ruth and Noami presents a humble challenge to our contemporary sisters – and daughters–inlaw, who always see witches and wizards in their husbands’ families.
Paul said, as much as it lieth in your hand, live peaceably with all men. We can’t afford to do less, except we are not going to Canaanland or the City of God, which Jesus has been preparing since the last two Centuries. John 14.
This is also applicable to husbands or men who deny their wives the privilege of taking care of their parents or wife’s other relations. This is unacceptable, inappropriate and vexatious when considered that such parents or relations also committed time, resources and energy to train their daughter as the man. Relationship demands a delicate balance to ensure that such relationships are wisely exploited to exalt Jesus Christ, and where necessary, win those who are unbelievers to the faith. Many believers have got this testimony. But you cannot oppress your in-laws or your wife or her people and expect them to follow you to your faith. Even fools resent oppression!
DISTRACTION.
Distraction is anything that makes you lose focus, drift attention or interest in something. Distraction deviates from original interest and, in some cases causes mental challenge. When we are distracted, we are rendered divided on on a matter that requires our undivided attention and interest. Sometimes a distracted person hardly gets on focus any more. The struggle could be life – long, if not diligently handled or refocused as we will later see as we progress.
Distraction comes in many ways. Therefore, before we deal with two other headline matters in this conversation, let us quickly discharge the Elements of Distraction on the Journey.
Indeed, it would amount to presumptuousness to believe or behave assuredly that being distracted is impossible as we Journey on this side of eternity.
One key element of Distraction is the opposite sex. This has nothing to do with being lawfully married or being intentionally celibate. But, has everything to do with the way we relate with the opposite sex outside marriage and approved biblical standards.
Paul told Timothy thus:
“The elder women (treat) as mothers; the younger as sisters; with all purity.
‘Honor widows that are widows indeed”.
1Timithy 5:2-3.
It will take madness for a man to desire his mother or sister, hence Paul’s injunction that Christian men should treat the opposite sex as either a mother or a sister. This is beautiful to behold when in practice.
Paul also cautioned widows. Don’t forget that widows are also on the Journey. Hear what Paul said:
“But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home, and to requite their parents; for that is good and acceptable before God.
“Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth, and continueth in God in supplications and prayers night and day.
“But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth”.
Given the above, the distraction of the opposite sex goes for both men and women. For there are several widows who are laid back on the Journey because of immoral lifestyle or moral failure. This should not be so. Paul commanded, or rather advised such widows to remarry, so that they can carry their vessels in honor and sanctification. 1 Thessalonians 4:4. This advice also goes for single women or girls. They should marry and build their own homes and take care of their husbands and children. It is distractive for a girl to be unmarried and be living in sexual pleasure, and still be claiming to be on the Journey. The question is: Which Journey?
But it seems as though the Bible has greater caution for the male believer regarding the opposite sex. Indeed, the book of Proverbs is littered with candid pieces of advice for “My Son” on the need to escape the snare or trap of the “STRANGE WOMAN”. This calls for greater vigilance for the man on the Journey.
Solomon who tasted the bitter pill of strange women which he loved with passion, is better placed to counsel the modern day believer. Hear him:
“Drink water out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
“Let them be only thine own, and not strangers with thee, ..
“Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love…
For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings”. Proverbs 5: 15-21.
This is a fitted advice for a man on the Journey. You cannot be a serial polygynist, a common and routine philanderer or a paedophile, and claim to be marching to heaven.
Again Solomon deepens the counsel by letting us into the world of the strange woman and the consequences upon the man so entrapped.
“… To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
“Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
“For by means of a whorish woman, a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress will hunt for the precious soul”. Proverbs 6:23-26. He continues:
“For she had cast down many wounded: yes, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the Chambers of death”. Proverbs 7: 26-17. Remember Samson.
According to Solomon, a man cannot carry coal on his bossom and not be burnt. The way of wisdom is to do what Paul told Timothy: Flee. Yes, run far away from all kinds of Satanic appearances. And your soul shall be saved and your Journey on COURSE. Proverbs 5:1-2. Joseph ran .. Genesis 39.
The second element of distraction is ALCOHOL, drugs and all kinds of intoxicants.
Still loading.. till next conversation.
Happy Sunday. God bless you.
Pastor Okoro, a revivalist; marriage counselor; can be reached on:
08051000462.
January 30.