A Man’s Expectations of the Wife.
1 Peter 3:1-7. Proverbs 22:6; 31:10-31. 1 Timothy 2:9-13.
Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30.
As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. Proverbs 11:22.
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness to his bones. Proverbs 12:4.
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the LORD.
Proverbs 18:22.
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1.
Even when a man is deficient in character and major life expectations, he still would want a wife that is full of grace, candor, poise and panache. Every man wants an excellent wife at home to be the mother his children. It doesn’t matter to him that he is vagrant, wayward and , most strangely, unwilling to break those habits that make his character light and disgusting to sane and decent people.
So, what are those character qualities men expect from their wives?.
1. Every husband wants a clean home. This is not to suggest that he will not be part of its dirtiness …with shoes, dresses etc not kept in their proper places.
2. A clean kitchen . Even when he doesn’t do the dishes himself he abhors plates in the zinc, dirt’s on the floor , no cobwebs on the walls,. ceilings and no dirty waters in bowls around etc.
3. A toilet that is not smelling with offensive menstrual things kept eyesights away.
4. Readily available meals, moreso, if the wife had been home all along. The food should be served pleasantly by the wife , not maid or children or relations . Whereas the wife must not be a chef or nutrition specialist or a caterer, the food must be carefully prepared and tasty to the mouth and attractive to the eyes. What if there is a visitor?.
5. A happy and attractive wife awaiting his return to the home. As in four above, what if he is coming with a third party, a friend? The sex appeal may be there, but certainly not the critical factor here.
6. A wife must learn to appreciate the good the husband does, even when she thinks it’s not enough. Most men go through so much hassles to really finance their homes. And would want that gratitude, no matter the inadequacy, insufficiency or shortfall. This is especially true in Nigeria where over 60 per cent of men over 40 years do not have jobs. This situation has worsened currently. So, it would amount to indiscretion for a wife not to appreciate efforts of the husband in times like this.
7. To be encouraged, to show sympathy, understanding at failure whether in academics, business, career or professional development. A wife must know that he should not compare her husband with another man , as such comparisons could deepen the hurt of the man. The worst could happen, as some husbands had been known to have walked away from their homes, and never returned because of wifely insults or disdain.
8. No man wants to be nagged in his house. (Although some men need some measured nagging to do certain things at home. A wise woman should study the husband to know if he needs some nagging, and at what time, to make him do some critical things for the family).
9. A good mother of the kids. It’s also good for the woman because society will blame her for any lax or deficit in the kid’s behavior. But more importantly, is the research findings that women live longer in marriage than men. Therefore it would amount to self preservation for a wife to do quality job of training and nurturing and development of the children because’ it is believed she would profit longer from the marriage relationship..
10. A ready wife on bed. The readiness must be dictated by the availability of the man at home. The wife must study the dynamics of the husband’s availability, and act similarly and wisely. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5.
11. No husband wants a wife who is unfriendly to his parents, siblings and other relationships. Though the growing tendency is for families to be insular, especially with growing insecurity and sexual abuse of minors by, even family members, it’s a matter of diligence for wife to know where to draw the lines in careful agreement with the husband. Conventional wisdom doesn’t demand total acceptance of all these relationship to the home where minors are. A husband should be guided in this regard also.
12. No man wants to be bossed in his house, even if it’s the wife making the money. And very wise wives know and understand this. Therefore a wife must be humble, with loving disposition to the husband, even if she makes more money than the husband. This could be challenging where you have a husband who is less sensitive to the fact that you don’t bother service your hobbies and bad habits with another’s earnings.
By way of conclusion, the point must be made that these qualities are daunting. They are nonetheless surmountable. Anywhere you look at, you will see happy homes, happy marriages. This shows that these qualities are realizable. All that a man needs is divine enablement, steeped in the fear of God, borne out of personal relationship with Jesus Christ, 2 Corinthians 5:17; John 3:16; 15:5 Phillipians 2:5-9; and then be directed by God to a woman who has His favor following her. A good wife is indeed a favor. I can bear this testimony. To the glory of God. God bless. Happy Sunday.
In our next conversation, we will look at:
What couples must do together to flourish.
ABOUT THE PREACHER
Pastor Okoro is a revivalist and marriage Counselor. He can be reached on:
08051000462.
©All Bible ref is from KJV, (except otherwise stated).
September 4, 2022.
