The Sunday Conversation | 10. 07. 2022
Genesis 2:21-25; 24: 1-65. Ephesians 5: 21-33
And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife , and they were not ashamed. Genesis 2:18, 24-25.
Our conversation on marriage, stepped down last week, to deal with prayers will continue today. We have been conversing on : What is not marriage. We have dealt with : Class and Culture in our part one of the conversation.
3. Marriage is not CONVENIENCE.
Many people go into marriage for convenience. Convenience in the sense of having it easy,: to go into; to manage , to fill a missing gap in their lives ; and, to have children. But marriage is more than all these. Whereas you will satisfy your sexual need, whereas you will have children; and whereas you will get a companion, there are other things — quite exasperating about marriage that you have to bear, or encounter or go through. Things that are so much inconveniencing that for for the unprepared, it can be daunting to handle. This is why some go the way of separation or divorce — all of which are contrary to the Holy Scriptures.
Take for instance, your personal schedule? You can’t go out and come back at your will. What about your dressing pattern? You can’t dress the way you like or feel like appearing. The friends you associate with will have to change. You can’t just be the same person you were before marriage.
But several young people don’t want marriage to restrict their convenience. They want to be married with all its benefits, and at the same time shun its limitations or inconveniences. Some even would want to evade it’s responsibilities . It doesn’t work that way.
By all standards, marriage is responsibility. Marriage is inconveniencing to private liberty and personal freedoms and preferences.
Have you imagined a child soiling your well-ironed dress? Have you imagined a wife waking you up in the middle of the night to weep and cry. Yet, you don’t know the cause? Have you thought of that wedding you programmed to attend, and your husband says no way, you are not going anywhere? Or a visit to your parents and he says we are attending a vigil? These kind of interruptions happen in a typical marriage relationship. So, if you are going into marriage for convenience, then, think about it much harder. Marriage reduces your personal liberty and tastes. Only inconsiderate and ungodly spouses continue in marriage all they were doing as singles.
4. Marriage is not Co-HABITATION
There are so many partnerships touted as marriage, that do not qualify as marriage. As believers, you don’t consider yourself married when no bride wealth or dowry is paid on you? Or when you didn’t pay any either, as a man?
It doesn’t matter how long you have co- habited together. It doesn’t matter how many children have come out of the co- habitation. Neither does it matter the circumstances that brought you together. The fact of marriage is that somebody must pronounce you both as married before a number of people as witnesses, after you have fulfilled established requirements to the family of the bride. Genesis 24 gives the believer a typical example of how to go about the conduct of a marriage in the Old Testament; while John 2:1-11, reaffirms it in the New Testament. In both cases, there were public ceremonies. There were witnesses.
For you to appreciate the baselessness of co- habitation is what happens: when the woman doesn’t give birth as soon as possible. Or when the woman gives birth to all girl- children. Or when the man spots some misdemeanor in the behaviour of the woman. And the rapidity with which the man will push the woman out for another woman. It’s at this point the man will remember that he didn’t pay any dowry. Or that the woman just followed him home. Or that they have not done church wedding or traditional rites. In most cases, the woman comes of worse for it. This is also why the girl- child must be adequated empowered, enlightened or educated to appreciate the realities of the odds against her in a godless, illegitimate or improper marital relationship. Most often , she loses everything, including sometimes, her virginity to a man who pretended to be in love, but, was a fake and dishonest human being. The way forward is to be guided by the gospel ethic.
5. Marriage is not SAME-SEX relationship.
Leviticus 20::13. Romans 1.
Same-sex relationship is an affront to the Bible, and confusion to humanity. If man marries another man, how would human society be perpetuated? Same-sex relationship negates procreation which is one of the core values of marriage. It negates conjugal bliss which satisfies man and woman by means of sexual intercourse, using the divinely ordained sexual organs. Same-sex relationship pervates this divine order by using two similar organs to satisfy their sexual urges. This is against divine order , and is condemned by the Bible, the Church and the saner populations of the human race. Anybody in the church who patronizes this aberration, heinous perfidy and sinful wickedness is a candidate of hell fire and eternal condemnation. Revelation 21:8.
6. Marriage is not DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP
There is another growing aberration in marriage relationship called : DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP. Under this arrangement, a man and a woman on their own agree to live together, and to share and enjoy, if you like, all the privileges of real marriage. They have sex together. They cook and eat together. They go out together The only thing they don’t do is to have children. If the woman mistakenly gets pregnant, it is evacuated because that is not part of the partnership. They present themselves to other people as friends. In most of the cases , the woman is much older than the man. She also appears to be the OWNER of the house. This is again, a denigration bof the marriage institution, a sacrament ordained by God to be held in holiness with both parties’ accountable to God on the day of judgement. Hebrews 4:13.
7. Other ODD VARIATIONS
There could be more ungodly and biblically unacceptable odd variations of marriages as we have many cultures and climes. For instance, there are cases of child- marriage wherein a child is given in marriage before her age of puberty. This cannot qualify as marriage for the christian because marriage is for two adults with capacity for choice, discretion and purpose.
There is also a case of all girls’ family marrying a woman and allowing her to get pregnancy from anywhere or from a dedicated man elsewhere in order to bear children to perpetuate the father’s name or lineage or heritage. This cannot be marriage. Such families should opt for adoption to avoid running foul of Scriptural standards. And incurring the wrath of God.
We have also seen instances of sons taking over their father’s widows. In Leviticus 20:11, such a man and woman are recommended for death. As believers under grace , we must not abuse God’s grace upon our lives by being party to these abnormalities, grave sins against God and the church.
In our next conversation, we will look at : What Marriage Is!. Happy Sunday.
God bless you most graciously in Jesus’ name.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pastor Okoro, a marriage counselor,
and revivalist, can be reached on:
08051000462.
July 10, 2022.
•All references are taken from KJV, except otherwise stated.
