The Sunday Conversation | 26. 06. 2022
Genesis 2:20-25; 18:19 ; 24:1-35. Deuteronomy 6:3-5. Ephesians 5:21-33.
Thus saith the LORD, Stand in the ways, and see and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein. Jeremiah 6:16.
There is a way which seemeth right into a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12.
In the way of righteousness is life; and in the pathway thereof there is no death. Proverbs 12:28.
Many followers of The Sunday Conversation, after reading the last series on: Signs of man not Completing Boyhood before Marriage, requested for some teachings on MARRIAGE. This series will be in response to the request.
However we will, in course of our conversation also touch on issues around the home and the family. All of the two are linked with the marriage institution. This is because both home and family came about due to marriage.
Whereas marriage brings about a family comprising the husband and wife with their children and all other persons under their roof, the home is the place of their residence. Somebody may say that you can own a home without marriage. That residence can qualify as a house, not necessarily a home. A home should accommodate a family of husband and wife and their children and more because that is the environment wherein God wants His children to live and procreate , and to perpetuate their generations, according to the word of God . Isaiah 58:12. Single parenting is also there.. Yes. Those inside it should hold on to God for His grace and mercy; for direction and purpose upon their lives and those of their children. Such parents, man or woman, should endeavour to teach their children diligently as in Deuteronomy 6:3-15, and to ensure that they fear God. The single parents themselves must live in bachelorhood or widowhood, as it were, all the days of their lives in line with Scriptural standards. They must avoid sexual sin if they must honor God, and obtain His mercy. 1Timothy 5:3-6. Isaiah 1:18-19; 8:18. This is the Bible standard. We don’t intend to add to it or argue about it. The widows must be treated with dignity and patience and love by men and their wives because they belong to God. And God will avenge every wickedness against them.
Now, let’s begin our conversation with this:
What is not marriage?
There are several things many of us, including believers, do today in the name of marriage that shouldn’t be. And to have a meaningful discourse on MARRIAGE, we need to separate these elements, if indeed, we MUST please God in the holy matrimony. And also enjoy and fulfil essence of marriage.
1. Marriage is not CLASS
Many marriages are today contracted on the basis of Class. CLASS is alignment of relationships by dividing people or things according to their ranks, grades, or quality, with some being top and others below, as we have it in the military and the clergy. Class is marked by hierarchy — in order of superiority.
Many of our marriages are being tailored in this manner. Although there is nothing patently wrong with people marrying their professional colleagues, or royalties marrying each other, as it were, by the leading of God.
However, there is everything wrong when such Class marriages are done for the sake of it: to maintain status, to show superiority , to avoid contamination with lesser mortals and to continue a kind of domination with it’s associated pride and hubris. King Solomon ran into this folly with his marriage to several royal women including Pharaoh’s daughter. He didn’t survive it.
And as we converse, several families have been torn apart because the parents of the couples wanted their children to marry from particular families that are “their Class”.
For us as believers, the only class we have if any, is the Christian Class, as stated in 2 Corinthians 5:17– If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature, old things are passed away; behind all things have become new. Apostle Paul tells the Galatian Church that in Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek, neither bond nor free. In Christ we are one. Galatians 3:26-29. Being born again places us on same pedestal in marriage. The idea of putting Class consideration in our choice of whom to marry stems from a carnal mind. Many have followed this carnal guidance to make terrible choices eventually. Those who also followed God to make choices outside Class consideration are today enjoying the benefits of divine obedience in this all important matter. Is your marriage working? What was the basis of your choice? What lessons can you learn from the choice you made?
2. Marriage is not CULTURE
The culture in reference here is the tradition of separating human beings according to their tribes or ethnic nationalities: where they come from; who their parents are as well as their native language, their foods and their wears among other differentiating elements.
Marriage transcends these mundane issues of life. Marriage is spiritual. The foundation of its existence must also be spiritual. As we have stated above, being born again gives us a new nativity: that of Christ. So, if there is any culture to integrate into our marriage, it should be the: the Bible Culture which Jesus took time to teach in the beatitudes among others in the book of Matthew 5-7, and also elaborated by the apostles, especially the Pauline and Petrine epistles.
Whereas we are not saying that our backgrounds do not count in our marriage, but if that background is the overriding influence in your marriage choice, then there is everything wrong.
When you insist that your spouse must come from your tribe? When you insist that your spouse must wear your ethnic dresses? When you insist that your native foods must be everything in your marriage? Then, there is a problem. The implication is that your choice of whom to marry will be limited to these circle of influence This also amounts to playing God in a matter you should ordinarily abandon into His hands to guide you. Proverbs 3:5-8. Many have burnt their fingers because they migrated to their villages to look for innocent girls who became other things in marriage. Yes, don’t make the choice of whom to marry based on CULTURE. Marriage goes beyond language, dressing and foods.
Have you attended some societal weddings lately? Who are the parties involved? Down the years, check them out and find out how they are faring.
As a child of God, don’t follow the carnality that has failed many homes today. Be ye separate because your Father in heaven calls you to a life of distinctness. 1 Peter 2:9. Besides, there is always a way that appears pleasant to a man, but most often it causes pain and distress. That’s the result of most carnally-motivated marriages. It’s a trap you must avoid now that you know.
3. Marriage is not CONVENIENCE (To be continued).
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pastor Okoro, a revivalist, and marriage counselor, can be reached on:
08051000462.
June 26, 2022.
*All references are taken from KJV,
unless otherwise stated.
