The Sunday Conversation | with Pastor Luke Okoro
Genesis 2: 18-25.
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” Genesis 2:18.
The significance of this passage in the main is that marriage is for men.
Sign number SEVEN.l
He grows jealous of the wife should she be making better progress than he. In fact , every avenue to block opportunities of growth of the wife is resented, and, where possible stopped or opposed.
Occasions are rife where such men stop the educational and business developments of their wives because they are apprehensive such empowerments would affect them negative as head of the family. Yet, such dubious and unGodly behaviors are steeped in jealousy and vain inclination that a husband must be WEALTHIER all-round than a wife. He thinks that enhanced financial capacity is attained or achieved through his big big brain or certificates or competitive spirit. He doesn’t know that God raises the humble, the helpless, the oppressed and the deprived from the dust or dunghill. Indeed such ‘macho’ men don’t realize too quickly that favor is not for men of understanding, but upon whom God will show mercy. God is the one who controls TIME and CHANCE. Ecclesiastes 9:11.
Sign number EIGHT
Upon the slightest provocation or irritation or disagreement with the wife, he refuses her food . He forgets that the food is his money. The house belongs to him. The wife also. Yet he wouldn’t eat her food until he extracts maximum punishment from her . Whatever the punishment is? And whatever the offense? But elder apostle Peter tells us that husbands who behave unfairly with their wives risk their prayers being unanswered. Let the Scriptures speak:
” Likewise , ye husbands, dwell with them( wives) according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the Weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of life ; that your prayers be not hindered”. 1 Peter 3:7.
Sign number NINE
He finds it very easy and convenient to neglect the wife on the bed. He backs her for whatever reasons. But for what profit? you may ask. He isn’t particularly interested to know that denying the wife his body is an act of fraud, according to the Bible. Yes, both wife and husband have equal rights to their bodies. None has the right, except on permission and during fasting, to deny the other due benevolence. This is the way of righteousness for couples in marriage.
” Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time , that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency” 1 Corinthians 7:5.
Sign number TEN
He puts the wife down before his family members, his friends, and even their children. He does these things to be seen as the better person, even though this behavior or attitude exposes his weak leadership of his home before reasonable and people of good conscience. He troubles his household by being petty and being afraid of the wife gaining greater influence on the their children and their families and other stakeholders in the marriage relationship.
Sometimes too he makes uncomplimentary remarks about the wife’s body. Such words as fat, big breast or burst , tiny body and mama big size: are freely used to describe his wife before others . ” I have told her to slim down , but she will not” or ” I have told her to add flesh to get body” , such men cynically blurt out to show their disgust sometimes about the size of their wives.
The Bible is indeed right when it says that a city that has a child as a king is in deep trouble. How many families are today under such troubles that are orchestrated by boys who claim to be husbands and fathers. They never get mature. They never learn or accept to be corrected. They are full of their ways like a typical backslider, even though they are still BELIEVERS. They are like Achan: foolish. Joshua 7:24-26.
Sign number ELEVEN
He lacks the capacity and discipline to check his expenses, even when he isn’t the one making the money. His self – indulgences and plain unreasonable financial spending habits cause discomfort to the family and impoverish his wife and children. But cares little.
As Emperor Ahasuerus, he is in revelry while Shushan is perplexed. Esther 3:15. He fiddles while Rome burns.
Sign number TWELVE
He delegates parenting to third parties.. nannies, househelps, grandparents and all that. He defers the disciplining of the children, until it becomes belated to do so. Sometimes, he feigns forgetfulness, but the actual motive is to subtly buoy the kids to his side or, for the kids to see their mom as the villain. Such men are indeed a danger to the health and welll being of their wives and families. They are vain and a poor copy of fatherhood. The counsel in Proverbs 22:15 makes no meaning to them because they want to win their kids’ approval at the costs of their mother and their right grooming , training and development.
Sign number THIRTEEN
He has no history of breaking a bad habit. At over three decades, he still self – abuses himself, watches porno, and doesn’t look and remove his eyes from careless and wayward girls and their seductive appearances.
Everything he was doing as an unmarried youth, he carried over into married life.
For instance, he could still be dropping his dresses and shoes in undesignated places In the house. He could still be finding it difficult to flush the toilet after use or wash the bathroom or do the dishes.
He is entrapped by carnal things and these bad habits because he has failed to develop the God habit that could have helped him to look up to heaven for help and direction in such moments of unease and temptations. He is on ease in Zion , even when he is surrounded by hostile neighbors.
Sign number FOURTEEN
He procrastinates over things that require urgency and immediate attention. He delays virtually everything because he is ignorant about the URGENCY of TIME in life issues. A visit to the children’s school can wait; a repair in the house can wait; the need for private residence for the family is not too urgent etc.. . Until these needs become overwhelming. Or there’s no more time because time and seasons belong to God. Proverbs 6:6-7. Daniel 2:21.
Sign number FIFTEEN
Given that he makes no sense in urgency of time, he spends more time bathing and dressing, even more than the wife. He prefers to spend time with his friends. After work, he is not in a hurry to go back home. He runs away from his children because he doesn’t want their wahala. He has no desire to build a home of peace and comfort for the enjoyment and excitement of his family. A good home can really be exciting, but he doesn’t know. A home where children will desire to.race to after school. A home where a wife would long to come into for comfort and peace after hassles of the day. A home where children will be raised properly and in the fear and admonition of God. These things demand rigor and diligence but this husband and father dodges them And pretends that he would reap abundant harvest at the appointed time. Please note :Galatians 6:7. Remember Eli.
Sign number SIXTEEN
He clings firmly to every opportunity to travel out of town for official assignment. His interest is the fun he derives making such trips. He doesn’t think of the conditions at home, the state of health of the wife and children as well as existing family appointments that are also important and time-bound. He is simple minded like those two hundred young men who followed Absalom to make him king even when David his father was still king in Jerusalem.2 Samuel 15:11. What a husband! What a father!
(To be continued).
•Pastor Okoro, a revivalist, and marriage counselor, can be reached on:
08051000462.
May 29 2022.
