The Sunday Conversation | with Pastor Luke Okoro | 22. 05. 2022
Ephesians 5:21-33. Proverbs 1-7. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27. 1 Peter 3 :1-7.
“Woe to thee, O land, when thy king is a child, and thy princes eat in the morning.
Blessed art thou , O land, when thy king is the son of nobles, and thy princes eat in due season, for strength and not for drunkenness”, Ecclesiastes 10:16-17.
“And with Absalom went two hundred men out of Jerusalem that were called;
and they went in their simplicity”,
2 Samuel 15:11.
“My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not”, Proverbs 1:10.
Our conversation today will take the form of a power point to isolate some of the manifestations inherent in men who go into married life too early before they could complete being BOYS.. Yes, when boys marry before they could emerge as men. Or, When a man didn’t complete boyhood before marriage. Many families and homes have been devastated by such men who pride themselves as husbands and fathers. It can also happen in girls, but it’s more dangerous in men because they call the shots in their families, whereas the girl as wife is meant to be submissive or to be under authority. Come to think of it , in a proper family set up the wife doesn’t have the final say, except where there is no man. Or when there is mutual agreement. Ephesians 5:21-33.
Sign number One: No Family Altar.
An altar is a place dedicated for prayers, worship and thanksgiving. It denotes a place of regular encounter , indeed daily interaction with God : to seek guidance, direction and mercy. Therefore, an altar serves the family the opportunity to daily seek God’s face and favor, guidance and direction. Altars serve as a common place for a family to come together daily to express their worship and praise and thanksgiving to their God, under whose grace and mercy they slept and woke up unto a NEW DAY. When a family lacks this powerful and needful instrument due to the naivity or indiscretion of their husband/father, the implications could be disastrous. The family will most likely grope in darkness, dwell under general grace and operate without revelation and inner man inkling that hooks up with it’s Maker for direction, for speed and for purpose unto life and Godliness. Men who stood tall before God built altars where they routinely and consistently and sometimes, penitently sought God for grace and mercy and forgiveness. They also prospered. That was the difference between Jacob and Esau; Abraham and Lot; as well as Cain and Abel.
Even Isaac who inherited wealth and favour was wise enough to built an altar where he called upon the God of his father, Abraham. And Saul also in his waywardness had the good presence of mind to build an altar. Perhaps, that could explain why he lingered on the throne for over two decades and four after he was pronounced rejected by God by Prophet Samuel.
Those without altars trust in themselves. Only children and fools do because they lack understanding. Psalms 14:1.
Sign number TWO: He eats his tithes and dashes God a miserly offering.
The Bible tells us to honor God with our substance including cash and materials. The Bible also tells us to bring in all the tithes to the store house of the LORD so that there will be food enough for God’s servants and the poor. Malachi 3:8-10. Haggai 1:5-7. These are ancient landmarks for believers who wish to have a long walk with God. Those who dispute this basic doctrinal truths do it out of greed and covetousness. Husbands and fathers who disobey God in this regard fail to enlist their families in the school of prosperity, healthy living and a covenanted and guaranteed physical and spiritual l future. Jesus didn’t condemn tithing. Abraham who lived before Moses and his law also paid tithe and offered sacrifices to God. That was why he prospered. Tithing and quality offerings produce open heavens for any family involved. Luke 6:38. Galatians 6:7.
Sign number THREE: He wears ANGER like a badge and upsets the PEACE of the family.
Have you seen some men exhibit anger in it’s rawness to their wives or children? If you have, it’s just a manifestation of an unfinished work in a man before becoming a husband or father. In that kind of rage, they can kill, destroy and cause collateral damage of any kind. No wonder the Bible says that anger rests in the bossom of the fool. Proverbs 29:22 is absolutely right when it states that an angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man is full of transgression. With anger they erode the peace of their family, drive away their wives to extreme loneliness and establish unhealthy and distanced relationship between them and their children.
Very often, they resort to bullying wife and children through physical assault and verbal abuse. They wreck their home and marriage in the long run. Run away from ANGER. Only fools embrace this little fox that spoils the vine. How true! The command of Scripture is that we should put it away.. like you do with a worn dress. Ephesians 4:31.
Sign number FOUR: He wakes up looking for food even on a Sunday morning.
Whereas there is no sin behind breakfast, there is everything wrong when a man uses the demand for breakfast to cause confusion and mayhem in his house. And many men do, especially when it’s delayed, mistakingly not available or altogether unplanned or unprogrammed by the wife. There are instances when families went late to church services because DADDY wanted to take breakfast. Yet he didn’t wake early to assist in preparing the children for churching. Solomon was right when he lamented over a city which has a child as it’s king because it’s only children who wake up crying for food. Sometimes they claim it’s for medical reasons.. but the point is: making it a habit that even children know that Daddy must take his breakfast no matter what?
Sign number FIVE: He makes nagging a lifestyle.
There are men who nag their wives and children to the point that they would require a third party intervention to make them stop.Whereas some element of nagging is required in dealing with undue stubbornness in the home, baby men have no measure of control in their nagging of wife and children. When they are about reaching home, their wives and children would all escape to their rooms because they can’t stand their father. Right from the gate to the parlor or passage, there must be something to nag the wife and children about. The injunction that parents should not provoke their children to wrath makes no sense to them.
Sign number SIX: He raises his hands against the wife.
He is a wife beater. Given that he doesn’t want to reason deeply or lead his family by conviction, he adds violence against his wife and, also children. His headship of the family is in his ability to physically show masculinity through bullying , threats and violence. He is mentally lazy to convince his family and command their followership. He is not a gentleman. He doesn’t pursue peace with his family because he is a violent man in disagreement. Don’t forget that it is children that fight to settle quarrels. He is like a child no doubt.
Sign number SEVEN: ... (To be continued).
•Pastor Okoro, a revivalist and marriage counselor, can be reached on:
08051000462.
May 22, 2022.
